Billy yelled, “STOP THAT”. Billy’s Para-educator asked Sam to put the container back to its proper place. This being done it was time to go back to science, right? Wrong.
“WHY DID YOU DO THAT Sam?” Sam smiles. Billy then wonders to himself, “Why did he smile at me? Is he laughing at me?”
“WHY DID YOU DO THAT SAM?” Sam does not answer and Billy continues to repeat “WHY DID YOU DO THAT SAM?” Then, Billy’s gone. He was removed from the classroom because with each “WHY DID YOU DO THAT SAM?” his anger increased with his volume level.
I will be seeing Billy later that evening, so five minutes after this happens I receive an email from his well-intentioned case manager. Parts of the story were recounted — basically, Billy yelled again, Billy was removed again, Billy is in trouble again — and then the bottom line, “I had a STERN conversation with Ben. He KNOWS he can’t do it again.”
He’s “known” for a long time that yelling in class was “wrong”. If a stern lecture was the antidote, then, I guess we’d all have the cure to autism. This teacher is a well-trained professional whom I respect highly. We’ve developed a great system of communication in order to provide more comprehensive, targeted support for Billy. But, when I saw him tonight, I knew I had to lay a foundation. Yes, Billy lacks the coping strategies for managing his anger more appropriately and we could continue to provide him more deep breathing techniques, perhaps another “recovery spot”, or a visual cue for how to request a break. These are all great ideas, but they are too late and miss the mark.
The issue is WHY Billy is getting mad. Well, Sam broke a rule. You and I might realize that this rule isn’t a commandment, but Billy lacked that frame of reference. He wanted that rule enforced, and, even more basic than that, we had to discuss WHY people break rules. This is not a simple conversation, by the way. Billy asked for the Top 3 reasons why rules are broken; my initial thought was: to have fun, because they can, and because it makes them cool. Again, try explaining each of those! Then, we had to build an internal assessment system in Billy’s head so that he could decide WHEN it mattered if a rule was broken. Does it hurt me? If so, do this. If not, do that.
Contrast this process with: Billy, stop yelling. I NEED THE ANSWER. Billy, stop yelling. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. Billy, let’s leave the classroom. I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. Billy, you can’t do that. I KNOW THAT BUT I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY HE BROKE THE RULE.
Why not address these social issues? Is it too hard? Yes, it’s a long, winding road. Does it take too long? Cynically, I say yes, when we want no disruptions in the general education classroom. But, clearly, NOT addressing these social issues is only producing more serious issues. So, ironically, it takes longer not to address these issues. Ultimately, though, in Billy’s situation, the support staff missed the forest for the trees, having no idea of what Billy didn’t know they focused on what Billy didn’t do.
“Tsk, tsk, Billy, don’t do it again” is an ill-fitting bandage to a systemic skill deficit in ASD.
Adapted from: http://jholverstott.wordpress.com/2011/02/24/when-we-need-to-teach-social-skills-to-kids-with-asd-rather-than-attach-an-ill-fitting-bandaid-of-blame/
How can Billy be involved with the interventions?
What could the para-educator have said or done initially to defuse the situations?
What would you do if Billy were in your class?
How can Billy be involved with the interventions?
What could the para-educator have said or done initially to defuse the situations?
What would you do if Billy were in your class?
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